UFOs, Aliens, and Abductions Are Nothing to Worry About...
take me to your leader!

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Opinions On UFOs

Take Me To Your Leader

By Anonymous, Captured from the Usenet group alt.angst
Dated: 19940622

Compliments of megadodo.com

UFOs Are Nothing to Worry About

There was a guy on the front page of the local newspaper the other day who claimed the US government is involved in a conspiracy to cover up the existence of aliens visiting Earth. The only person who could pull off that kind of conspiracy was buried recently (Nixon). Clinton can't even hide a bad condo deal much less the mother ship from the plant Zenon. Perhaps that was what was on those lost 18 minutes of Watergate tapes. Perhaps Nixon and Elvis are serving Slurpees in an Idaho Falls Seven-11 right now. Perhaps there is a certain percentage of the population that is just spared the ravages of intelligence here so they seek it elsewhere.

If these really are aliens visiting us, they are goofy aliens. I'm not sure we have much to fear or much to learn from a culture that travels light years across the galaxy just to mess up our wheat fields and abduct guys named Bubba from Mississippi swamplands. And if they are going to abduct people like this, why do they give them back?

And what is the deal with "crashed UFOs?" They somehow negotiated the cosmos only to be felled by a tricky cross wind in New Mexico? Where did they learn to drive? Utah?

There are enough real things to be worried about other than aliens in a government relocation program. I personally worry that just about any day now "The" Cable Company is going to announce to the world that it really is "The" Phone Company in disguise and that they are really, really mad about the break up of AT&T. You think the advertisements for phone services are bad, just wait till the TV giants go at it. I worry that those fiber-optic cables run both directions and that they have enough dirt on all of us to make Nixon look like the saint he was portrayed as in all those eulogies.

Heck, maybe TV is part of the alien conspiracy plot. Maybe a silver ship will land on the White House lawn like in the movie "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and out will step Ted Turner and Ross Perot who rip off their rubber faces only to reveal the hideous truth... that they are still Ted Turner and Ross Perot. "We come in peace. We come to bring you affordable cable TV." Yeah, it could be true, my psychic friend said so.

I think we should get a refund every time the cable company shows a Police Academy movie. I think C-Span and the Home Shopping Network should combine so that you could actually buy senators form the comfort of your own home. I think there is too much sex and violence...... in professional sports. I think if you turn down the sound, the video babes and studs on MTV and the Nashville Network are starting to look eerily alike. I think line dancing is a plot to bring back disco.

I'm worried that people are actually starting to commit bizarre crimes just so they can meet Connie Chung or Phil Donahue. I'm worried about the mixed morals of people who have both radar detectors and car alarms. To counteract this, I think police should hand out car alarm detectors to criminals.

I wonder, if "milk does a body good" why hasn't a cow ever won the Kentucky Derby?

I worry that those Soloflex and Nordic Trak machines seem to make men's chest hair fall out. Really, look closely at the before and after pictures sometime. I wonder what kind of chair people with Buns of Steel find comfortable? I wonder if the Juice Man has any teeth?

I wonder if the UFO conspiracy guy isn't right after all.

Then Again, you never know...

David uncoveres what is possibly the biggest secret yet. The fact that Reptoids are ruling this planet and have done so for a longer time that you would want to.

Look out Robert Anton Wilson! Either David Icke is competing for the "Paranoid of the Decade" award or he knows something the rest of us don't. Icke reveals a sinister web connecting everything from the British royal family to major oil companies, to 33 of the last 40 U.S. presidents, in a global conspiracy masterminded by an interstellar brotherhood vying for planetary control through the manipulation of humanity's very way of life. Icke digs into every facet of contemporary society to expose the invisible horror lurking beneath the calm veneer of everyday life. In the process he gets downright offensive, knocking everything from Judaism to the Denver airport. Even if you can't swallow Icke's distasteful revelations or follow every step of his labyrinthine conspiracy theories, The Biggest Secret is sure to forever change the way you look at the Amoco oil logo.

Been There Done That and Still You Want To Know  The Answer To Everything

No, its not Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. This is serious stuff, the Urantia Book. Urantia is the name of your home, Earth. Here you will find the answer to God, aliens, your history, and your future. I first ran into this stuff while leaving the employee of Hughes Aircraft. One individual who I admired passed  to me this book along with a few VU-graphs. The URANTIA Book (English) Hardcover The URANTIA Book (English) Softcover The URANTIA Book CD-Rom with multi-language search program Collectors Edition, Small, Leather (English)  HET URANTIA BOEK (Dutch) Hardcover El libro de URANTIA (Spanish) Softcover Le Livre D` URANTIA (French) Softcover URANTIA-KIRJA (Finnish) Softcover This book has managed to appear to assimilate the best from the world religions and philosophies to form an incredibly cohesive cosmic worldview. In fact, the way the entire book holds together in its self consistency, profundity, sublime morality, and sheer original brilliance has convinced me that it must in fact be a divine revelation, as it indeed purports itself to be. Indeed, after reading much of this book, the religions and philosophies of the world appear to be dilutions of the real thing.

Expect adequate answers to these questions, and more:

Who is God and what is He like? How does God 'interface' with our universe? How was the universe created, and why? How did biological life come into existence? Why is life progressing? What really is the detailed biologic and geologic history of earth? When did man appear, and what is his detailed history? What really makes man unique from other animals? How did the different races and cultures begin? What is involved in 'mind' and 'spirit'? How can God live in us? How does God communicate with us? What are the nature and kinds of celestial intelligences? What really happened in the rebellion of certain celestial intelligences? Why are there so many religions? Why does God allow suffering and injustice? Is there life on other planets? What is earth's ultimate destiny? What is our destiny after death? Who will survive? How does Jesus really fit into all of this? What is my ultimate purpose here? How can I be happy and fulfilled?

Then Again This is Probably All BS Put In Place By The Greedy Money Folks Who Call All The Shots

Joe Vs The Volcano Joe Vs The Volcano

If there is one theme that runs trough all this stuff, the theme is how small and insignificant your life is. All this stuff might just be propaganda to keep you in place while the big money lives a life of leisure. So take control of your life today. Go ask for a raise that triples your salary, demand an office bigger than 80 square feet, demand a window, demand the option to telecomute, want to start a business then demand money from your local banker, demand a work style that lets you retire before the age of 45. Demand that you can demand, and maybe you should have a golden parachute too. As Joe says in this great, but suppressed movie - "Thank You God For My Life"!!! To quote a great thinker, "I have had my life stolen away and I wish to only steal it back again". Joe Banks is having the life sucked out of him at a dead-end job. Miserable in his gray surroundings with stark fluorescent lighting, Joe dreams of being brave again. Joe Versus the Volcano is a true early-1990s cult film. This fantasy-comedy was the first pairing of Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, yet it polarizes viewers like a Blue Velvet or Happiness. As John Patrick Shanley's (the Oscar-winning writer of Moonstruck) only directorial effort, it is something special, and it's hard to resist the film's feather-light heart tugging.

What? More History

"I personally think that TV has been around for at least 1000 years.
Its just us serfs never had access to it."

This is the condensed, popular version of the monumental underground classic forbidden archeology"... Over the past two centuries, researchers have found bones and artifacts showing that people existed on earth millions of years ago. Deploying an unexpectedly great number of suppressed but convincing facts, Cremo and Thompson challenge readers to rethink their understanding of human origins, identity and destiny. 69 illustrations.

This is the classic. The Forbidden Archeology. This is a meticulous and patient presentation of the evidence that "modern" man has been around for a much longer length of time than the evolutionists will acknowledge. Current science holds that modern man is 200,000 years old or less. Michael A. Cremo and Richard L. Thompson take that notion to task in a painstaking review of the record by going back to the original sources of antiquated archeological finds and reevaluating them in an unbiased fashion. They manage to push man's origins back to at least one million years with no trouble at all. Their case-by-case review of published literature dating from the mid-nineteenth century until the present is fascinating.

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